One of the first steps in altering your consciousness is to change your languaging around your sexuality. For those of you tuning into the amazing world of Tantric Healing, there is a vast realm of new thought, techniques and language to familiarize yourself with. While most of it is fascinating, some can prove to be just a little intimidating at first. But with so much detritus passing under the good name of Tantra, it is better to have a clear and forthright understanding of some of these terms.

In Tantra, we employ Sanskrit words and descriptions because in the West, most of the terms pertaining to sex, gender, and genitalia are either derogatory, mean-spirited or clinical-sounding. We curse, defame and denigrate one another with terms we should otherwise deem reverentially. It is as a sad and telling legacy of the patriarchy that not only has the goddess been systematically removed from our vernacular, but all things feminine have become distorted, degraded and abused, the ‘gods have become diseases’ and our sexuality is used to spew the most vile, hateful, violent and oppressive type of emotions.

A good first step in raising your own level of awareness, as well as that of your lovers, is to diligently incorporate new, more positive, life-affirming languaging to both define and develop your emerging sexuality. Remember, you are an ingenious gardener tending to the jungle of your own awareness.

Can you imagine the day when the terms of our body parts, love and our sexuality are used to celebrate rather than to curse?

Namaste (nah-mah-stay) is a traditional Tantric greeting and it means “I bow to the Goddess/God within you”. This is a nice ritual to adopt in greeting your lover, because, right off the bat you’re acknowledging that this is not someone whose phone calls you’re going to be avoiding after a few hours of intimacy.

A Daka (dah-kah) is a Tantric High Priest, a man, or Dakini, woman, who is skilled in
healing the body, mind, spirit and emotions by reviving and energizing the body’s potent Energy centers.

In the West, it is more and more erroneously used as a general description for all male Tantrists, but that’s because there are so few authentic Dakas around. A Tantra Teacher is not always a Daka. Someone who is a Tantra practitioner is not automatically a Daka either. So it is important to understand the difference.
A Daka

Likewise, A Dakini ( Dah-kee-nee) is an accomplished Female Tantrist/High Priestess. Obviously there are a lot who use the attribute of Dakini, but don’t really have a clue. In LA there are a lot of ” Massage therapists” (I use the term euphemistically) who employ the title liberally. I would have to say in my experience, there are only a handful of men and women on the planet who are worthy of the title.

A real Dakini/Priestess or Daka Priest can change the course of your entire life.

Tantrika (tahn-tree-kah) is a Name assigned to all practicing Tantrists. As is the term Tantrist(s), and/ or Tantriks without the “a”. One can become a Tantrika and not be a Dakini, because Dakini’s are professional and highly skilled Energy healers. It’s one of those “All Dakini’s are Tantrikas, but not all Tantrikas are Dakinis” kind of thing-a-ma-whoosies. ( Hypothesis)

Sudaka (Soo-dah-ka) (from which Daka and Dakini are derived) is a general Sanskrit term for a male and female Yogi, and Yogini and simply means practitioner. Likewise, with the term Sudakini. (soo-dah-kee-nee)

Goddess/God : Tantra acknowledges that all women are Goddesses (and all men are gods). But you may want to sit on this information a tad until your male lover has done a little homework. We don’t want to do anything that inflates his ego any more than it is already).

Male and female practitioners worship Her in all of her manifestations. You might even say there is no Tantra Consciousness without a complete and utter devotion to the Goddess. This is a hard concept for most female-fearing, woman-hating, homophobic men to swallow. But obviously why Men can continue to “fuck” and seduce women, and be held utterly in their power (as through pornography, etc) and still not adore them. Big difference.

Tantric men and women soon evolve beyond the “Disney” version of gender and gender identification. In the same way that Jung’s Anima and animus are archetypal and psychological and not physical, tantra yoga promotes the transcendent awareness that Masculine and Feminine are energetic properties and not merely anthropomorphic social codes. To awaken from your “larval”/Reptilian ego awareness and start accessing the Higher/Human/Divine consciousness in the other ninety per cent of your brain power is what it means to become a goddess.

Vajra ( Vah-zhra) and Lingam (Leeng-um) are terms for the Male Organ, meaning “thunderbolt” and “wand of light” respectively.

Yoni (Yo-nee) and “Pearl” are the terms expressing the “Lotus flower” of the goddess’s sex. The “pearl” used to describe the goddess’s clitoris.

“Polishing the pearl” and “honoring Vajra” are two acts of infinite respect and love between loving Tantric partners.