Tim, one of our students, told me that he had mastered the techniques of ejaculation control and was really confident of being able to make love for as long as he wished. He was really pleased with himself because now his partner had an orgasm nearly every time they made love. Interestingly his girlfriend, Tina, had told Diane that she was not feeling totally satisfied with their lovemaking.
Tina said: ‘I love the sex and it’s wonderful now that Tim goes long enough for me to build up to orgasm. However, I feel there is still something missing. It’s hard to describe, but I just don’t feel fully nourished. I feel good and I feel satisfied sexually but I don’t feel we are any closer – and the next day it seems like it never happened. I hoped our lovemaking would connect us more in our day-to-day life, but it doesn’t seem to bond us any closer’.
Women often express this difficulty to Diane. Although they are being satisfied on one level, on another level something seems to be missing. What can you do about this? The solution is to learn what I call the art of Energic Lovemaking. This is where you not only enjoy the physical connection between you and your partner, but there is also a focus on the exchange of love and sexual energy passing between you both. It is a method of lovemaking that has healed many relationships, especially in marriages where sex had become only a small part of something they shared together, as opposed to the most beautiful way to bond more closely together.
Energic Lovemaking is probably a softer style of sex than you are accustomed to. Ordinary sex is what I call ‘hard sex’. It tends to look at love from a physical perspective where the focus is on sexual pleasure and orgasm. It emphasises the physical characteristics – good body, looks, movement and response. It is usually intense, fast-moving, with lots of banging and pumping. This is the form of sex emphasised in movies and novels. ‘Hard sex’ can be fulfilling and fun and should be part of your lovemaking repertoire, but if it is the only method you rely on to give you pleasure, then your woman may end up dissatisfied and perhaps eventually you will, too.
If anyone else ever gives her an experience like I’m going to share with you, you can be sure she will want more of the same. If you are not the one who nourishes her, she will soon find someone who will.
If you can include in the range of ways you make love with your woman at least one Energic Lovemaking session per week, she’ll never want to leave you because very few men know anything of this form of lovemaking.
Most men may know about the clitoris and the G-spot and all the positions, how to pump well and about softness and gentleness in foreplay, but once they enter the yoni their old programs start to take over. They pump faster and their mind goes faster – ‘I must not come too soon’, ‘I must give her a good time so she’ll know I’m a good lover’, ‘I must bring her to orgasm’. The tension starts to build up, the movements start to build up, the breath starts to build up, there’s a lot of fast pumping, their eyes are shut and they are doing a good job. This is normal sex for most people – physical, hard sex.
However, you can make a choice not to be normal in bed. You can choose to be extraordinary in bed. How? Let’s take a look at lovemaking from an energy perspective, rather than the merely physical. Start to focus on the energy exchange during lovemaking.
Once you focus on the energy exchange a whole new set of possibilities appear for you to play with; you start to explore a new dimension of lovemaking with your beloved.
I’m not suggesting it’s the only way to make love. I’m saying that if you add it to the range of ways you express your love, you will be a more extraordinary lover than the average man.
Energic Lovemaking Techniques The Scissors
This technique will help you to harmonise energy with your partner so you feel nourished on every level. It’s an especially good technique for harmonising the sexual centres when there is an imbalance in libido between partners. It works well for sexual difficulties like impotence, premature ejaculation, frigidity and reduced sexual drive. In any of these cases it should be done every day for a week and then at least twice a week after that. Even if you are older and have not had sex for a while, it will awaken and restore your sexual drive.
………………………………………………….. One of our students introduced this technique to his seventy-year-old father who had just remarried and had trouble keeping up with his seventy-five-year-old wife. The imbalance in their sexual energies was causing him stress. His father commented: ‘It’s a great position because I don’t have to have the old feller hard to stay inside’. It is the best technique to use to stay inside your woman even when you are not erect. The warmth and moisture are sure to turn you on after a while. His father said ‘If it’s not the first day, then by the third day of using this technique I’m hard and ready to get on top again. Sometimes while I’m soft inside her she stimulates herself to orgasm and that always makes the old feller stand up again’. ……………………………………………………
The woman lies on her back and you lie at an angle to her on your right side. Both should be comfortable. You may wish to put a pillow under your head. The woman puts her right leg between your legs and her left leg over your hip in a scissors position. Your lingam (penis), whether hard or soft, is inserted into the yoni (vagina) . If it is quite flaccid then press it against the vaginal opening.
No physical movement is made throughout the practice. To begin, both of you are relaxing, attuning, feeling. Both focus on the genital area. Close your eyes and visualise an orange sphere of energy in your sexual centre radiating energy like the sun. Send that energy through your lingam into your partner’s body. This starts to awaken the Kundalini, the sexual and spiritual energy.
You inhale, drawing up and squeezing the PC muscle, then as you exhale, you send the energy through your lingam into your partner’s body through her yoni to the crown of her head. Then you inhale again, pulling the energy back from your partner’s crown through her sexual organs all the way up to your crown. Your partner is doing the same, psychically mixing her energy with yours.
After picturing the energy flowing back and forth for several minutes, you both relax and tune into the feelings in your bodies, while entering a meditative state. Continue in this way for about thirty minutes. This technique aligns the seven chakras of the male with the seven chakras of the female and heightens the awareness of each to the combined energies.
If you want to make love in your usual way before or after using this technique, do so, but during the technique there is no movement, except for a contraction of the vaginal muscles every now and then to maintain the erection. The focus is on the energy exchange rather than the physical striving for orgasm.
Some students have described their Energic Lovemaking experience as a sense of transcending their bodies, a feeling of two energies merging and becoming one, a bonding emotionally, physically and mentally, the same sense that can be created through deep meditation. Some even describe it as having a sense of oneness or total union with all things.